


Here with me

by ArbuscularMycorrhizal



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Emetophobia, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Nott is best mom, Sickfic, Swooning, absolutely everyone is doing their best, descriptions of illness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2020-02-26 10:28:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18715189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArbuscularMycorrhizal/pseuds/ArbuscularMycorrhizal
Summary: The empire kids get sick.Neither of them ask for help so it's up to everyone to take care of them and also take care of everyone else.Just some good ol' fashion sickfic.





	1. But the things you do for love

**Author's Note:**

> Look, I know being cold and wet won’t give you a cold but I can and will ignore that for the sake of hurt/comfort and fluff.

It started with a dizziness that nobody noticed because Beau didn't slow down for minor inconveniences. She always pushed through any weakness. The entire ride back to Rosohna she covered the growing pressure behind her eyes and the aches settling in her joints with loud and brash conversation. Nobody thinks any different. Beau is always loud and brash. Jester doesn’t ask her if anything is wrong. Caduceus’ eyes and attention are focused elsewhere. Everyone else too tired or too absorbed in their own business to notice what the clerics could not. 

When she finally falls into bed after helping Caduceus dig a grave for an unknown goblin the cold has sunk solidly into her bones. She didn’t bother changing into dryer clothes. Too tired. The effort of digging them out of her bag and actually changing too monumental. She wrapped herself in blankets and tried to hide how hard she was shivering. 

Jester was already down getting breakfast by the time Beau managed to drag herself to wakefulness. Her head was spinning, throbbing in time with her heartbeat that felt way too fast. She didn’t know if her clothes were still damp because of the rain or if was because she was so sweaty. That couldn’t be right. She was still freezing. She had to actively try and stop her teeth from chattering. 

Slowly, with joints and muscles screaming out with a pain that she hadn’t worked for, Beau stripped down. She shoved her wet clothes into a pile at the end of her bed. It took most of her dwindling energy to drag on dry layers. This was bullshit. She was out of breath. She gritted her teeth against the wave of vertigo. They had things to do today. She stood, swayed, and walked to wash basin. She scrubbed at her face savagely, wetting down her hair to hide the sweat. They had things to do today. 

 

Caleb ignored it. The sensation in his stomach, in his head, in his hands. He talked with Nott. Joked with Jester about the forman and didn’t drink the tea Caduceus offered. He kept a tight grip on Yannick's reins. A tether to this plane, something to keep himself grounded in the nauseating movement of the ride. His back was straight, his hands steady. He ignored it. He kept moving.

The gates of Rosohna were a welcome sight but he didn’t let his shoulders sag with relief. Didn’t let any indication of the growing weakness show. He sat in the saddle, he looked straight ahead. He kept up conversation. 

If the Dim’s Inn was warmer than the rain outside Caleb couldn’t tell. Nott noticed the shivering that he couldn’t quite hide. He used her concern to avoid the three in the morning dinner that the group settled down to. He didn’t speak to Fjord when the half orc came in to bed. And when he was woken from his uneasy sleep by the sound of coughing and spluttering just a few hours later he let Fjord slip out without question. He was drifting when half orc returned. 

By the time he could hear Jester’s cheerful voice outside the door it felt like he hadn’t slept at all. But he rose and ignored the aches. Ignored the way his stomach wouldn’t settle, the way the room wouldn’t steady. He went downstairs and hid among the chatter and plan making. He kept up his mask up and without flaws. Smiled at Jester, sat close to Nott and avoided Caduceus. He kept moving forward.

 

It was Yeza out of all of them who noticed something. He frowned and tugged at Nott’s hand and whispered into ear as they left the Marble Tombs.

“Mr. Caleb seems awful bold today.”

Nott was about to argue that Caleb was always bold. But he wasn’t. Not really, and that wasn’t a bad thing. He prefered to hang back and let the rest of the group do the talking. To stick to the shadows with her where it was safer. 

But this meeting with the professor. He had spoken up, pressing the professor a little further than what Nott would have thought wise. She didn’t like the way the orcish woman had been eyeing Yeza and the two humans. But she hadn’t said anything. Had let the scene play out. If anything she had been surprised Beau hadn’t said more.

“I’m pretty sure he just really wanted to read some books.” The library had looked fascinating. She had seen the hungry want in Caleb’s eyes. 

“That’s probably true. You know him better than me.” Yeza agreed.

She did. She knew him better than anyone else in the Nein. The conversation dropped and they hurried after their longer legged friends. She would keep an eye on him she promised herself to settle down the worry that had began to bloom a little bit in her chest. Maybe she’d ask Caduceus to keep an eye on him when then got back to the inn.

But then all of them were swept up by Essik and brought to their new  _ house _ . Sometimes it felt hard keep up herself let alone what all the group got up to. A whole fucking mansion. She let herself get pulled along with Jester as they ran around to explore. Yeza, not willing to let go of her hand, pulled right along with them. This sort of finery wasn’t foreign, but it had always been something in passing. A rare night in a rich inn. An upper class home that none of them belonged in full of things that weren’t theirs either.  

Rooms were picked. Dinner was made in the kitchen that seemed far too large to belong to them. They sat around a table that didn’t quite seem real and talked and chatted into the constant night. It wasn’t until she and Yeza had settled into a bed that was way too big for a goblin and a halfling that she remembered his question from earlier.

She’d ask Caleb tomorrow. And if she didn’t get an answer she’d get Jester of Caduceus to take a look at him. She shifted closer to Yeza and drifting off to sleep. In the morning. She would deal with it in the morning. 

 

There wasn’t a dawn to wake up to so she blinked awake it took her a moment to remember where they were. Yeza yawned and shifted beside her.

“G’morning.”

“Mmm morning.” He squeezed her hand, she squeezed his back.

“Not sure what time it is but do you want to go see what there is for breakfast?”

Yeza snuffled and moved a little closer, pulling the blanket around them and closing his eyes. 

“Sounds good. In a moment?” He asked.

“In a moment.” She agreed.

 

When they did finally make it down stairs only Jester and Caduceus were up. In the kitchen with soft and unhurried voices. Her and Yeza settled into the warmth of the space. She helped Caduceus chop some of the strange but not entirely bad vegetables. Yeza and Jester cracked eggs in to a large bowl. 

Awhile later Yasha appeared with sleepy eyes and wild hair. She accepted a mug of steaming tea from Caduceus and sat at the table and tried to wake up the rest of the way. Fjord appeared, his hair slicked back with water wearing a fresh shirt. He offered to help in the kitchen but was shooed out by Jester and a whisk. 

Caduceus had just added the eggs to a large pan with a whoosh when Nott heard Fjord’s voice. She grabbed the bowl of vegetables to hand over to the Firbolg.

“Mornin’ Beau, sleep well?” There wasn’t a response. Nott paused listening for it and then dropped the bowl and dashed into the other room as Fjord called out in shock.”Beau!?”

He and Yasha were already at the base of the stairs. Crouched by where the human woman had slumped. One hand with a death grip on the banister, her usual tanned skin wan and clammy. Her eyes were unfocused. Jester pushed past Yasha and lay a hand on Beau’s forehead. 

“Fuck, Beau. You’re burning up. Hang on.” There was a glow and a wash of divine energy. Beau’s head lolled back. Her eyes didn’t clear. Her heaving breath didn’t steady. “Shit, Caduceus! Do you have any resoritives prepared?”

The firbolg gently pressed past Nott. Fjord moved back to allow him access. 

“Here, let me try.” Another wash of soft light. All of them paused. Beau did not rouse.

“Shit, shit, shit! Do you think she got poisoned or something?” Jester held Beau’s hand in one of her own and her holy symbol in the other. Caduceus leaned in close to Beau’s mouth and breathed deep. He pried up one half lidded eye and cast light on his finger tip to check her pupils. 

“Our spells would have dealt with poison. If I’m not mistaken she might just have a bad cold.” His voice was calm but Nott could see the furrow of worry on his brow. 

“Just a cold?” Jester didn’t look at all comforted. “Then why didn’t our magic work? Why does she still look so bad?”

Yeza spoke up from behind Nott. 

“There isn’t a cure for the common cold. Magical or otherwise. She really doesn’t look too good though.”

Caduceus stood and nodded at Yasha.

“Best we can do is treat symptoms. Would you mind terribly carrying her back up to bed? Mr. Yeza, I believe you may have some expertise here. Could I ask your assistance in making something to help get her fever down?”

“Y-yes, of course.” Her husband was already rolling up his sleeves and heading for the kitchen. The rest of them were spurred into action. Yasha scooped up Beau with little effort and started up the stairs. Jester right behind the larger woman to act as spotter. The blue tiefling called back over her shoulder. 

“Fjord, we’re probably gonna need some water. Can you fill some buckets or pots or something?”

“On it.” And the half orc was gone. 

Leaving Nott to skirt in front of the other girls. She dashed ahead to open the door to the room Beau had picked. She wrinkled her nose at the smell of bile.

“Oh Beau.” Jester’s voice was filled with worry. “We’re going to need some new sheets. Nott, I think there’s some at the end of the hall. In the cupboard with the skinny door.”

Nott dashed down the hall. They would probably need a new blanket as well. She had to jump to reach the higher shelves and drag down a blanket. She bundled up the mass of bedding and started back down the hall. She had to walk slow, unable to see her own feet.

She froze. 

There was the sound of scratching. A pitiful meow. That was Caleb room. She set down the bedding and knocked on the door.

“Caleb?” She called out. “Are you alright in there?”

There wasn’t a response. She tried the door knob. Locked.

“Caleb?” She tried again a little louder. She dug through her pockets for something to pick the lock. Her tool kit was back in her room. She came up with one of the pins Jester used in her hair. It could work. 

The door rattled, Frumpkin yowled louder. Nott made the pin work. 

“Caleb I’m coming in alright?” No answer. 

She cracked open the door and was immediately buffeted back as Frumpkin brushed roughly against her. And then the cat was darting back into the room. Back to the figure slumped, back against the wall, between the bed frame and the nightstand. The blanket had been dragged off the unslept in bed. 

Nott’s voice cracked badly as she yelled back down the hall.

“Jester!”

She was already moving into the room. Remembering too late the snap of silver thread. She dived to the side as a spell arched across the room. She recognized those hand gestures as the spell went wide. Hold Person. 

“Caleb it’s me. It’s me Nott!” She scrambled forward and caught his hands before he could cast again. A chunk of iron clattered to the floor. “It’s me, it’s alright. Jester!”

She called again and was rewarded with the sound of rushing footsteps. 

“Nott what’s- Shit.” 

Nott had to put all of her strength into holding on to Caleb. The moment Jester appeared around the door jam he jerked his arms in an attempt to get free. His eyes were wide and glassy and unseeing. 

“It’s just Jester. We’re alright, we’re alright.” She tried to sooth. She looked over her shoulder at Jester. The look of fear and worry was mirrored between them. 

“It’s me Caleb. I’m going to come closer okay? Just to see how you’re doing?” The other girl crept closer and as carefully as she could, lay a hand on his forehead. Caleb startled at the contact and then like his strings had been cut his eyes slid shut and he slumped into the contact. 

“He’s burning up.” Jester’s voice shook just a little bit but her hands were steady. “Caleb I’m going to cast some healing on you just in case okay?”

There wasn’t a response to Jester’s words or the light that followed. She bit her lower lip and then froze. She leaned forward and ran her hands through Caleb’s hair, across his chest and under his arms.

“He’s not sweating.” She took a shaky breath. “Nott, go get Caduceus.”

Nott couldn’t move. That was bad. It had been bad. Yeza had noticed something off. She had done nothing. Said nothing. He was her boy, how could she-

“Nott, I need you to get Caduceus.” 

Nott went. She pelted out the door and down the hall nearly running into Fjord with an armful of dirty sheets. 

“Whoa there. Beau threw up again. I need…”

Nott was already running past him and down the stairs. She hadn’t noticed anything off at all about Beau. How could she have not noticed? She was supposed to be a mother.

She skidded into the kitchen. Eyes wide and chest heaving. Both Yeza and Caduceus looked up from where they were working. 

“Veth what’s-”

“Caleb he’s-” She felt like her throat was closing up. Her heart was beating out of her chest.

Yeza was there in front of her. Holding her hand.

“Deep breaths. In and out. In and out. Good.” Nott held his hand back and forced herself to slow down. In and out.

“Caleb’s the same as Beau. Jester’s with him. He’s not-” Stop. Think. Breathe. “He’s not sweating. High fever.”

Yeza’s eyes widened. Over his shoulder Nott could see sharp worry settle into Caduceus’ face. The firbolg set down what he had been working on and poured two mugs of something steaming. He grabbed a washcloth and indicated the second mug to Nott.

“Take a moment and then take this to Beau. Mr. Yeza, no offense but I think you should limit contact. If it’s contagious to humans there is a chance you could catch it. Your body likely isn’t as hardy as it used to be.”

And he was gone up the stairs. 

Nott tried to take a deep breath. In and out. In and out. Her breath shuddered. She should have-

Yeza was hugging her. He squeezed her, rubbing small circles on her back. Resting his chin on her shoulder so than when he spoke softly his head bobbled.

“We’re alright Veth. It’s all alright.”

She tried weakly to push away. Knowing she should but not wanting to lose the contact. 

“Caduceus said…” She trailed off miserably.

“I’ll scrub my hands in a moment. Just let me hug my wife?”

Nott managed a tiny nod and couldn’t quite stop the tears from welling up. Ever so slightly Yeza began to sway, just a little bit. In time with his measured breathing. In the stillness of the unfamiliar kitchen.

“Do you remember the first time Luke got sick?” It had been with the chicken pox. “Really sick with the chicken pox?”

Veth hummed.

“We were so tired. I don’t think we had slept in at least two days.” It had felt like two weeks. “And the Edith had come to check on us. I think I cried when she stopped by with a basket full of supper. You just handed her the baby and fell asleep at the table. Remember?”

She nodded. He pulled back to look her in the face. There were tears in his eyes too.

“Edith isn’t here now but we aren’t alone Veth. You don’t have to do this on your own.”

He searched her face.

“Yeah?” He asked

“Yeah.” She answered. Voice small. “You’re here.”

“And the Mighty Nein.”

“And the Nein.”

Yeza pressed his forehead against her’s.

“And between me and you I think I like Caduceus’ cooking better than Edith’s”

That pulled a laugh from her. She scrubbed at her eyes and gave him a watery smile. 

“That’s true” She took a full deep breath. “You should really probably wash your hands though.”

He laughed too and wiped away the tears.

“I’ll do that. You take the mug up to Ms. Beau. I’m going to start working on some poultices.” 

“Okay, and Yeza?” She had done this sort of thing before and she would do it again now. ”I’m glad you’re here.”


	2. Soundless place

Fjord was sitting up with Beau when Nott brought in the now slightly cooled mug. His arm around her keeping her upright. The bed was stripped clean and the window was open to get some fresh air. Fjord looked up at her as she entered.

“Yasha’s getting some more bedding. She starts coughing something fierce if she lays back too far.”

Nott passed the mug over.

“Caduceus and Yeza made it to help with the fever. But if she’s still throwing up then she’s going to need as much fluids as we can get in her. Caleb too.”

Beau mumbled as Fjord readjusted, bringing the mug up to cracked lips.

“Come on, there we go. Drink up. Just like the hour of honor.” Beau could only manage a few sips before she started sputtering. Fjord lowered the mug to let her breath for a moment. She coughed and groaned. Head lolling against Fjord’s shoulder.

“....m’fuck you.” Her eyes were scrunched shut. Fjord couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Fuck you too Beau.” He said softly.

“Fuck you Molly.”

Oh. The smile on Fjord’s face disappeared. Nott clambered up on the bed to sit next to Beau’s outstretched legs.

“No Beau, it’s me and Fjord.”

Beau blinked her eyes open a bit and squinted at Nott. She didn’t seem to have the strength to lift her head up to look properly. Her eyes were unfocused.

“Nott? What’s going on?” Her words were scratchy and slurred.

“You’ve got yourself a fever. You and Caleb both.”

“Caleb? What did he do now?” Her eyes had slipped closed again. Nott smoothed out the girl’s clothes. They were sweat stained and probably uncomfortable. They would have to find something for her to change into in a bit.

“Same thing you did Beau, didn’t tell us you were sick.” But she had already drifted off. Fjord sighed and handed the mug to Nott for a second to adjust Beau in to a more comfortable position before accepting the mug back.

“Try to get her to drink all of that.”

“What if she throws up again?” Fjord asked, looking more than a little lost. Nott felt the same way but she at least had some experience here. Fjord she suspected had little experience on either side, taking care or being taken care of.

“Especially if she throws up. Do you have a bucket ready?”

“Yasha’s getting one. What if she won’t drink any? She’s stubborn enough when she’s lucid.” That was true.

“Try your best. Challenge her maybe. And if all that fails ask Yasha to do it.”

Fjord tried for a smile but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Beau was mumbling again. Nothing either of them could make out. Nott patted Fjord’s leg.

“What about you? Are you alright?”

“I just,” he shrugged, the smile dropping completely.”Feel useless I guess. I should have noticed.”

“I think we’re all kind of feeling like that.” She couldn’t quite make the words sound like a comfort. “We should probably have a group discussion about asking for help when we need it. And not hiding this sort of thing.”

“Y-yeah, we should.” Fjord nodded but he looked guilty for some reason. Nott narrowed her eyes at him.

“Are _you_ feeling alright? You’re not getting sick at all are you?”

“I- no. I’m fine. Really, orcish blood and all that. It’s just, yeah we should talk more.”

He was for sure hiding something but maybe that conversation could wait for when he wasn’t cradling their very sick friend in his arms. He didn’t seem willing right now and Nott had to put her energy somewhere else than prying.

“Okay? I’m going to check on Caleb. You alright here?”

Fjord nodded. “For the moment.”

That’s all they could ask for right about now. Nott gingerly got off the bed as not to disturb whatever uneasy rest Beau was getting and slipped out of the room.  She passed Yasha in the hall. A mass of blankets under one arm and a bucket hooked on one elbow. The large woman gave her a nod but continued on quiet and determined.

They had moved Caleb to the bed but hadn’t bothered with the covers yet. Caduceus sat alongside him, Caleb’s head in the crook of his arm. Mug in one hand resting on the bed and flannel in the other. He dipped the flannel into the brew he and Yeza had made and delicately dripped it past Caleb’s cracked lips. Instinctively the wizard swallowed.

“Good, that’s good.” Caduceus said softly.

Nott climbed up past Jester at the foot of the bed where the blue girl was cradling Frumpkin. She edged her way up the bed and settled where she could hold Caleb’s hand. It was limp and the veins were prominent. She rubbed her thumb across the familiar scars on his knuckles. Jester spoke up.

“Me and Caduceus were trying to remember,” her voice sounded thick. “The last time we saw Caleb eat or drink something.”

His little finger was a little crooked, like it had been broken and not set properly.

“After we left the Braan, but before the encampment.”

Nott had given him some jerky and he had shared his water skin. Nearly two days. Nobody had noticed. Nobody had said anything.

Caduceus sighed. Jester hugged Frumpkin a little tighter.

“Is this a normal response for Mr. Caleb? When he gets sick?”

Nott hummed, thinking back.

“I’m not sure. Last time I remember him being really properly sick was when we met. In jail.” Fever bright eyes in the grimy dark of cell. “We didn’t really get to make many choices when it came to food and drink.”

Jester let out a shaky ‘oh’.

“That will be something to keep an eye on in the future then.” Caduceus rewet the flannel. Jester looked like she was trying very hard not to cry.

Nott didn’t want to move from her spot but she reached out with one foot to tap the other girl in the side.

“Do you think you could do me favor Jes?” A small nod. “Could you ask Yeza for something?”

“What?” A small reply.

“First, see if he’s finished up with the poultices. And then, make sure you’ve washed your hands first, ask him for a hug? He’s very good at them.”

That got a small smile. From Caduceus too.

“I can do that.” Jester scooted off the bed and set Frumpkin carefully down. “Anything else.”

Nott shook her head and then paused.

“Oh actually, do you have a night shirt or something more comfortable Beau could borrow?”

“Of course, she can borrow one of my night gowns. Do you want me to get one for Caleb too?”

“Hmm, he might be uncomfortable in unfamiliar clothes. What do you think Caduceus?” She looked to the firbolg who thought for a moment.

“He’d probably be more comfortable in just some smalls. If Fjord was amicable to sharing a clean pair that would probably be best. Not too restrictive.”

Jester nodded and left, the space where jokes about underwear should have been felt empty.  Nott let Frumpkin settle in next to her, the rumbling purr not as much of a comfort as it usually was.

The next few hours passed slowly. Jester returned and helped maneuver Caleb out of his clothes and place the poultices on skinny thighs and under armpits before tucking him back in. Drip by drip Caduceus administered one full mug and then another half. Caleb didn’t stir but by the time Caduceus called a break but he looked more like he was asleep rather than unconscious. His pulse slowed from frighteningly fast to something a little less scary and little by little his skin began to look better.

“I think it’s time for lunch.” Caduceus spoke, carefully setting aside the mug and flannel. Nott didn’t look up from her careful examination of Caleb’s face. Caduceus continued talking. “I’m going to go down and make some food for everyone. You can take a break once I’m done?”

Nott just hummed.

“Nott, will you take a break when I get back?”

She finally looked up. Caduceus hadn’t yet moved from his position alongside Caleb. He was looking at her with the usual calm expression, head slightly tilted. She wanted to tell him to bring her some food here. That she wasn’t going to leave Caleb’s side and how could he possibly ask her to do so. But he was right. She sighed.

“Yeah, once you’re back.”

She helped lift Caleb’s head so Caduceus could slide his arm out. The firbolg flexed his fingers to chase off the pins and needles. Nott settled Caleb back on the pillow and smoothed the hair back from his forehead. It was hot to the touch. The wizard’s brow furrowed with a discomfort that they couldn’t sooth.

“We should probably think about taking shifts. I don’t,” she had to gather her words, “I don’t think tonight is going to be particularly restful.”

Fevers always got worse night. And things were already in a bad way. Caduceus already knew.

“I’ll let the other’s know. Anything in particular you want for lunch? I was thinking soup.”

Nott very much did not care.

“Soup sounds good.”

And Nott was left alone to sit and think and make little braids in Caleb’s hair. His beard was coming back in fast. It made him look more familiar but in a haggard way Nott did not like. She wanted some flowers to put in his hair but even if she did want to leave the house she wasn’t sure where she’d find some in Rosohna. Maybe she had some dried ones in her bag. She’d check in a bit.

Almost an hour crawled by. She ran out of real estate on Caleb’s head and switched to worrying at the hem of her dress. She picked at loose threads and accidently twisted off two buttons. She was just thinking about grabbing something from her bag to fiddle with when Caleb shifted and groaned. Nott stiffened and had to resist urge to grab his hand. Instead she grabbed Frumpkin from where the cat was sleeping at the foot of the bed and set him gingerly on Caleb’s chest. The cat settled and started up a rumbling purr. Instinctively one of Caleb’s hands came up and buried in the fur. He turned his head from side to side and murmured in Zemnian.

“Caleb? Are you awake?” She asked softly. He continued to mutter. “Caleb?”

A soft groan, and then-

“Nott? Was ist…”

“You’ve got a pretty high fever.” His eyes opened a crack and he stared blankly at ceiling. “We’re in our house in Rosohna.”

“Our what?” His breath was short and his voice was raspy.

“Oh dear, you don’t remember much of yesterday do you?”

“I do not… Is it very late?” He shifted his head a fraction to look out the window. Confusion was growing on his face and in his voice. He looked lost.

“No it’s just about lunch time. It’s always dark here.”

“But what about…” His words drifted off and he looked at Nott like he needed her to catch them.

“What about what?”

He didn’t seem to have an answer. He shook his head and scrunched his eyes shut. Nott could practically feel the discomfort building in him. Hands beginning to shake as they worked their way through cat fur.

“Would you feel better if you sat up for a bit? Yes? Maybe? Here set Fumpkin over here, I’ll help you.”

It was a slow aching process, what little strength he had usually had obviously been eaten up by the fever. She hopped off the bed and helped pull him into a seated position and then propped the pillows up behind. The poultices fell away and Nott set them aside. It was probably about time for some new ones anyway. Caleb settled back with a wobble and a grimace.

“Dizzy?” She asked.

“Mmm” was the only response she got. Frumpkin curled into a ball at his side. The little bit of movement seemed to have drained what little energy Caleb had had.

“Here,” his eyes opened to see her offering him the half full mug. “You need to drink this. Yeah, I know it doesn’t smell great but it will help.”

He took it reluctantly and under Nott’s watchful gaze took a miniscule sip, and then another.

“You didn’t exactly set yourself up for success.” It wasn’t meant to be an accusation. But there wasn’t much she could say that he wouldn’t take as one.

“Ja.” He was looking somewhere past his knee.

“When did you  start to feel sick? After we left the Braan?” A nod, she thought as much. “Why didn’t you let anyone know?” Why did you try to hide it from me?  

It take him a long while to find some words.

“I. I do not-”

“The next words out of your mouth better not be ‘need’ or ‘deserve’.”

He didn’t answer that, just looked more miserable. Enough of that. Nott wiggled back on to the bed and into his line of sight. She frowned at him.

“Caleb Widogast.” His name. “You’re sick. You deserve to feel better.”

He closed his eyes to avoid looking at her.

“I’m going to keep telling you that. I’m going tell everyone else to keep telling you that. Because for such a such a smart man you really are a dumbass sometimes.” That got the tiniest little bit of a smile. “Keep drinking that. It will help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, this is turning out longer than expected.


	3. Lead you by the Hand

By the time Jester came in to tell her to go take a break and get something to eat Caleb had nearly drifted off again. Nott rescued the mug before it spilled and handed it over to Jester. 

“He seems to be more comfortable sitting up.”

Jester wasted no time in shimming in next to Caleb to help keep him in the same position. She made a shooing gesture at Nott.

 “Go eat soup, We’ll be here when you get back.”

“Has everyone else eaten?”

“Yeza said he was waiting for you and I don’t know about Yasha.”

Nott covered the warm bubbly feeling in her chest at the thought of eating lunch with her husband with a grumpy huff. By the look on Jester’s face she was in no way successful.

“I’ll make sure she eats. Call if Caleb needs anything you can’t take care of.”

“Thanks Nott, we’ll be alright.” She pulled one of the cheap flimsy copper piece novels out of her dress pockets. “I’m gonna do a dramatic reading for him. But like a quiet dramatic reading.”

“I’m sure he’ll enjoy that?”

“He doesn’t have a choice!” Jester wrapped an arm around Caleb’s shoulders and pinned the book to one knee so she could turn the pages with one hand. Caleb’s brow furrowed for a moment before he settled, slumping down a little so his head was resting against Jester’s shoulder. Nott crept out of the room to the sound of what was clearly going to be another god awful romance novel. Pausing outside the door to listen to Jester’s quiet but obviously enthusiastic voice.

_“The night was as sweltering as heated flesh on the evening Oriolda met the Captain. He strode into the tavern with a manful, noble stride, and every head turned to him. Palpable desire thickened in the air as every woman – and some of the men – hungered after the tall and handsome rogue in the doorway. Oriolda felt the swell of longing in her breast – and her loins – but looked away stalwartly. She was no green lass to be turned head over heels by a rugged face – or so she thought._

_The Captain swaggered handsomely across the room and leaned on the bar. “Hey, sweeting,” he said, in a sexy rumble, “You’re a pretty one. What’s your name?”_

_Despite herself, Oriolda felt herself trembling at the sound of his voice. “O-Oriolda,” she said, face flaming as hot as her loins as her voice shook. She lifted her chin defiantly. “What’s yours?”_

_“You can call me... Captain.”_

Nott shook her head and left the door open and made her way down the hall to Beau’s room where she no doubt find Yasha. 

The large woman was just inside the door, facing the bed, eyes fixed on where Beau was curled into a ball around a bucket. They had gotten one of Jester’s white nightgowns, long brown hair had been taken out of the falling apart topknot and plated out of the way. She looked strange like that. Too young asleep and too soft in borrowed clothes. Not like Beau. Not like Beau would want. Fjord looked up from his place on the bed.

“Have you two eaten?” Nott asked. She knew the answer.

“I have. Yasha-” Fjord paused and ignored the glare from mismatched eyes, “hasn’t.”

“Well then.” She patted Yasha on the shoulder. “We should go eat.”

Yasha didn’t move. Nott really hadn’t expected her too. She stepped over one of Yasha’s legs to stand between her and the bed so she could make eye contact. She jerked her head towards the door. 

“Come on- Yeah I know but we need to be functional too. Fjord can handle this for a little while. We can eat on the stairs.”

It took some more convincing and a promise from Fjord that he’d get them if anything changed. But Yasha followed her down. Footsteps heavy and reluctant.

Yeza was in the kitchen, ladling soup into three bowls. Caduceus was at the table, mostly full mug of tea in his hands. He nodded towards the basin in the corner.

“We used some alcohol from your flask, I hope that’s alright Nott.”

She waved him off. Of course it was okay, it wasn’t as if the thing ran out. And even if it did she wouldn’t have minded. It was better than Yeza getting sick. Hopping up on the chair placed next to the counter she scrubbed at her hands and up her arms, finally taking a mouthful of the now kinda mucky water and gargling it. She spat it in the waste bin, there was definitely soap in there. She climbed down and motioned Yasha forward.

“You don’t need to gargle it unless you want to kiss my husband.” She shooed the larger woman forward past the confusion. “Me and Yeza will get the soup, will you grab some chairs.”

They settled at the foot of the stairs as promised. Yasha focusing more on listening up the stairs than what she was mechanically eating. Nott trusted her to notice the moment so much as a pin dropped. Yeza and Caduceus were working on a shopping list. 

“We’ve got enough for the rest of the day but we’ll have to do a supply run if we want poultices for tonight. We’re almost out of yarrow. I could go, I know what we need but-”

“I’d rather you didn’t go alone.” If Yeza was going anywhere Nott wanted to go with him.

“Oh I definitely don’t want to do that either. Maybe Mr.Fjord or Ms.Yasha?” He was still looking over the list. Chewing on the end of his quill. Caduceus was looking at her, she could feel his eyes. 

“We both need to get some sleep Nott or we aren’t going to make it through the night. Mr. Fjord would probably like the chance to stretch his legs. And with Mr.Caleb so out of it I’d rather you be close anyway. He listens best to you.”

That was true. And Fjord was the best out of all of them at getting out of tight scrapes. Not that anything was going to go wrong. They would be fine. It would be fine. Nott grimaced at Caduceus. He was right. He kept talking. 

“Jester and Yasha can keep an eye on things and wake us up if anything happens.”

“And we don’t need much, just a few things. Me and Mr.Fjord will be there and back in no time.” Yeza patted her hand, it wasn’t much of a comfort but it was something. She sighed. 

“That makes sense I guess.” She really didn’t want him out of her sight again. It really did make sense. Sleep now meant better decisions later. And as much shit as she gave Fjord he really was competent. But she didn’t want Yeza to go. 

“Everything is calm right now. We won’t be gone more than an hour.” It was the right choice. She wasn’t alone, others could pick up the slack. She was going to need sleep. She dug through one of her pockets, past the two buttons she had twisted off. 

“Take this at least, show it to anyone who gives you trouble.”

Yeza took the symbol of the Bright Queen without question and tucked it into his vest pocket. He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“I will. I’m going to check the lab to make sure I’m not forgetting anything.” He handed his bowl to Caduceus who had begun collecting them and disappeared through the lab door. Nott watched him go before turning to the firbolg. 

“I can do the dishes Caduceus. You cooked. No really, I don’t mind. Just tell Fjord he needs to wash his hands before he leaves. And let Jester know what the plan is?”

Caduceus paused and considered her for a moment. Just a moment before handing over the empty bowls. He nodded and made his way upstairs. 

“Sure thing Nott, I’ll be in the garden in any need arises. Taking a nap.” The last bit was pointed, directly at her. She knew. She would. As soon as she was done with the dishes.

Yasha helped her move the chairs back but disappeared upstairs the moment Nott turned her back. Nott had to smile a little bit at that. Not alone at all. 

She had been hoping for there to be enough mess in the kitchen to keep her busy for a while, but Caduceus was unfortunately one of those folks who cleaned while they cooked. There really wasn’t much to do. So she worked slow, slow enough that when Fjord came down she still looked productive.

She looked him over out of the corner of her eye as he dutifully scrubbed up in the basin. 

“Keep him safe alright?” He must have noticed her watching because he just nodded his voice quiet in the kitchen. 

“Course, we’ll be right back.”

She followed him out into the entrance way to give Yeza one more hug before they left. He gave her a kiss on the cheek. The door shut behind them. The house was quiet. 

She wasted a few minutes pretending to tidy the kitchen a little more but there wasn’t actually anything to do. She went up stairs.

They hadn’t been in this house long enough for it to feel anything like  a home. It still felt like they were visitors. Like they would pack up and leave any time now. They had been in the house long enough for Nott to learn the squeaky stairs and creaky floorboards. She avoided them. Creeping along as if the sharp noises would let all her worry out. 

She looked in on Beau and Yasha first. 

The door was propped open. The room was dark. She looked Yasha over. The large woman had taken Fjord’s spot on the bed but looked much less comfortable in it. Fjord hadn’t looked comfortable with the situation exactly. But he had been fine with the closeness. Yasha was stiff and unsure. Stuck between unsure of what could possibly help and the need to comfort. Hovering from a distance, afraid to get too close. 

Nott rapped on the door frame.

“Need me to get anything?”  A shake of the head, “Sure? Alright, I’m going to lay down for a bit then. Yell if you need something. And Yasha, let her hold your hand. Beau likes to be grounded.”

A less sure nod of the head. Nott gave her a bit of a smile and ducked back into the hallway. Not waiting to see if her advice was followed. 

There was light spilling from Caleb’s room. Soft and orange. When she peered in Jester looked up from the book she was still reading. She had given up on the dramatic narration and the only sounds in the room was the light wheeze of a snore from Caleb, the occasional turn of a page, and the constant purr from Frumpkin. Jester looked up the book and smiled. It was a small smile. But it was a smile. 

“How’s it in here? Any changes?” 

Jester gave a one shouldered shrug as not to disturb Caleb.

“Not really, he was all mumbly a bit earlier but it was in Zemnian. He’s sleeping pretty good right now so it’s all quiet.”

Nott liked the smile less. “Do you want me to stay for a bit? We can have some girl talk or something?” 

Jester took a deep breath that definitely wasn’t a snuffle and shook her head. 

“No, you need to get some sleep. I’m alright. It’s not like I’m super sick or anything. Just a little bored.” Scared, isolated, anxious. 

“I could grab your sketchbook for you if you want?”

That was a little better. Jester was used to caring for other people. But it was lonely in the dark of Rosahna, in the quiet of the house. And Caleb wasn’t much for company at the moment. 

“Could you?”

The sketchbook was easy to find. Tucked under Jester’s pillow like always. The sketching pencils were tucked down into a side pocket of the haversack. Nott looked around for anything else to waste some time. But everything was quiet, everything was tidied away. 

“Thanks Nott.” Jester accepted her sketchbook gratefully. Her voice a little firmer “You can go take a nap now. We’ll be alright. I’ll message you if we need anything.”

Caduceus probably put her up to this. Nott should get some sleep. She needed some sleep. Would need some sleep. Alright.

“Do you want me to close the door or leave it open?”

“Open please.”

Caleb would be fine. Beau would be fine. She wouldn’t be far. 

Nott left her bedroom door open too. Didn’t bother changing into night clothes. Just laid down and listened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took a hot minute but here it is!
> 
> Shout out to vikkyleigh for writing their own wonderful sicfic focusing on the M9 humans.! 
> 
> The amazing smut book excerpt was written by my endlessly lovely friend [stillwaterseas](stillwaterseas.tumblr.com) who has only the vaguest idea of what Critical Role is but is an expert in smut. If you are all into art, queer stuff, or very good opinions on agriculture give them a visit! They're currently mostly writing for the Captive Prince and their actual work is a million times better than what they wrote for me here.
> 
> Lu, if you're reading this "I love you!"
> 
>  
> 
> Chapter title is again from [Love Love Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qv3-vANWwcU) by the Mountain Goats


	4. As in a Mirror Dimly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for some unintentional self harm in this chapter. Nothing graphic but definitely present.

She heard Yeza and Fjord return. The sound of the door and the little bells Caduceus had put up. Quiet voices from down the stairs and the creak of footsteps from the hall. 

She didn’t bother closing her eyes when Yeza came in. He could always tell when she was faking sleep. Something about her snore being hard to replicate. She wondered if that had changed now that she was a goblin. She didn’t want to find out.

“You were supposed to be taking a nap.” His voice was quiet as he removed his jacket and set his glasses on the bare bedside table. He slipped under the covers next to her. His chest pressed against her back, her eyes still on the open door. 

“I’m resting.” She was, technically. Not moving at least. Some of the worries in her head had stopped running around so loudly now that Yeza had returned. “Did you get everything you needed?”

“Plus some, Mr.Fjord asked around for some local remedies. We were going to have you and Mr.Clay look at them once you got up. He asked about any illness going around but we didn’t want to mention the fact that we were worried about humans so we didn’t get much.” He wrapped an arm over her, his hand seeking out hers. She met it, letting their fingers intertwine, letting her eyes close. 

“Probably wise.” 

His breathing settled something in her chest. 

“I’m glad Mr. Fjord came along. Everything is so tall here.” He rubbed his thumb over her knobbly knuckles. He yawned. “Not built for us. Figures.”

She hummed in response. Too comfortable in the moment to continue the murmured conversation. 

She didn’t sleep, not really, but she must have drifted because she could feel time slip by. Minutes blurring with what might have been a few hours. Her husband’s sleep sounds fading into the background rhythm of a house at rest. 

A shout rang out through the house and through her like lightning. 

She rolled out of bed, her feet hitting cold stone. Moving before her brain could process what was happening. 

Something was wrong. 

And she was sprinting down the too long hallway before Yeza had sat up. There was muffled shouting, crying. She couldn’t make out the words. Just painfully hoarse desperation. Caleb. Jester too, more quiet, but pinched and scared. Trying to be calm.

“No no no Caleb. It’s alright. They’re all out. They’re out. There’s nothing there. It’s okay. It’s okay.” 

The door to Caleb’s room was still open as Nott rounded the corner and sound and sight came into focus. There were footsteps behind her.

Jester was crouched awkwardly half on and half off the bed. The sketchpad had fallen, pencils scattered. Her muscles were straining to keep Caleb’s arms in place. Her blue hands were red. 

She glanced out of the corner of her eye at Nott. Mouth pressed impossibly thin. Eyes wide and too bright. She looked behind her. There was a crash down the hall in the direction of Beau’s room. 

“Yeza, can you get Caduceus for me? I don’t have calm emotions prepared today.” Her voice was high and shaky. She looked ready to cry. She didn’t let go. “Nott, he might listen to you a little better.”

Yeza squeezed her shoulder and his footsteps disappeared towards the tower. Nott moved forward. 

Caleb’s eyes were blank, bad blank. He was staring ahead at Jester. Nott ignored the growing tightness in the back of her throat. She was a mom. She would cry later. Right now she needed to help. 

“What happened?” She asked Jester but her eyes were fixed on Caleb. He didn’t seem to hear her. His hands were twitching, he was pulling at Jester’s grasp. Sharp and sudden tugs. Jester wasn’t letting go. Nott tried to take a slow deep breath. Jester tried to copy her. Neither of them managed well.

“He was having a dream or a nightmare and I wasn’t- I wasn’t fast enough. He just-” 

Caleb jerked again cutting Jester off. His hands were clenching and unclenching, there was blood under his fingernails. He was mouthing something Nott couldn’t make out. She climbed on the bed to Caleb’s other side. She didn’t touch him. More wouldn’t help. She settled next to Frumpkin. The familiar wasn’t touching him either. Tense and watching. Nott forced her voice to be level. 

“They still bother him sometimes, and I think the fever is making everything feel worse from him.” Much worse. “You’re doing the right thing, keep holding on.”

Keep holding on. Keep him from clawing his own veins out. Keep holding it together. One moment at a time. One minute at a time. Wait for Yeza and Caduceus to get back. Decide what to do next.

She didn’t like the idea of calm emotions. It rubbed her wrong the same way command did. Not spells meant for friends. For family. It was taking away a choice. 

But when the choice was between self inflicted harm and the spell there wasn’t much of a choice. 

They could apologize later. When Caleb’s eyes felt alive again and he was present. Right now, this was bad. As bad as she had seen him. Pain was something that usually drew him out. Something instant to focus on. A slap across the face, a pinch to the back of the arm. But there was blood dripping onto the sheets and whatever Caleb was seeing right now was too far and deep in the past for them to pull him out.

She couldn’t even offer a comforting hand, a familiar touch. As well as she knew Caleb she didn’t know what would make this worse. There were huge holes in the details of his past. She didn’t want to make whatever memory he was stuck in more vivid by doing the wrong thing. There were days where it didn’t matter how present he was, touch didn’t work. 

Jester didn’t have a choice. There wasn’t another way to keep him from hurting himself. But Nott couldn’t make it worse for him. 

She could make it a little better for Jester though. 

She reached out and began rubbing small circles on the other girl’s back. Slow steady pressure. 

“It’s alright, between you and Caduceus he’ll heal up in no time.” Tears just under the surface welled up and spilled down Jester’s cheeks and it wasn’t entirely a bad thing. “This isn’t great but not something we can’t fix. And if we can’t fix it right now, we’ve got time.”

All the time in the world. 

There were footsteps in the hall, Yeza returning with Caduceus. Yeza’s fett stopped at the door. There was the barest hint of a pause as the the other cleric took stock of the scene.

“Yep, okay” the firbolg walked into the room, rolling up his sleeves, looking to Nott. Taking in the blood and the empty face. Jester was searching Caleb’s face for something still, tears dripping off her chin. He stopped at the end of the bed and didn’t come closer. “I have calm emotions prepared if we’re sure that’s the best approach.”

He didn’t look sure. Nott didn’t feel sure. Jester was holding on. 

“We can have a conversation about it later but I think we need a quick solution right now.” 

Caleb needed to rest. Jester needed to let go. 

“Okay, the effect will only last a minute but I can recast it if we need. Do you have some healing left Jester?”

Jester nodded, taking short hiccuping breaths. 

“Good, that’s good. I’ll cast first, let the spell settle for a moment before you try. The sensation might help him know he’s somewhere safe.”

Jester nodded again. Nott grit her teeth.

The spell washed over the room, broad and untargeted. That wasn’t Caduceus’ fault, just how the magic flowed, filling the room, affecting everyone there. But she didn’t want to be calm. Not right now. She wasn’t going to be. So she grit her teeth. She could taste blood.

The tension left Caleb in one rush. Hands stopped the strained movement and went limp. He wobbled, head lolling forward. Panic leaving him and taking with it the strength he had used to stay upright. 

“I’m going to heal you now Caleb, okay?” Jester’s voice was light and unworried. Her face smoothed out. The tear tracks still visible. Caleb didn’t respond. The softness of divine light glowed from Jester’s hands. “Okay.”

Nott hid her frown at the too soft, too smooth, too blank. She had to focus. Caleb still needed help. 

The gouges traced up his arms faded from dark to pale to nothing. The blood did not fade. Jester loosened her grip but did not let go. Nott counted seconds. 

“Let’s move him to the side of the bed.” Sometimes sitting up felt less helpless. She looked up to the doorway. “Babe, can you get something to clean him up a little?”

Yeza disappeared downstairs with a nod and a tight smile. Caduceus stayed where he was, ready to cast again. 

Jester, as gentle as she could, helped Nott coax Caleb to the edge of the bed. He wasn’t helpful but he didn’t resist either. Jester supported most of his weight, keeping him upright with a hand around his waist. She held one hand. Nott held the other. His feet on the cold stone. 

One minute. 

He didn’t tense. Didn’t try and tear at his arms. Didn’t make a sound.

He shuddered, curling in on himself. Jester held him up. She didn’t let go. Neither did Nott. 

“You back with us Caleb?” Nott asked. He didn’t really respond. There was a brush of fur against Nott’s shoulder. “I think Frumpkin wants on your lap if that’s alright?”

He nodded at that. A small nod. Barely noticeable, but there. 

She let the cat walk across her lap and onto Caleb’s where it set about rumbling and purring and being close. Jester sniffled and ducked her head to the side, wiping her runny nose on her sleeve. The room was quiet. Nott shifted slightly, the blood between her hand and Caleb’s was growing tacky. She could hear footsteps too heavy to be Yeza’s.

“Fjord! What happened?” The half orc winced at Jester’s whisper shout. He rubbed at the clear evidence of a nose bleed. His hair was tousled like he had been running his hand through it too often. Worry was settled in the corners of his eyes. He had only taken a few steps into the room.

“I’m fine really. Beau heard the yelling and I was between her and the door so-” he gestured to his face. “I think she went easy on me.”

Judging by the amount of blood it had been a very good hit. Trust Beau to have perfect aim even when delirious. 

“Oh my gosh, do you need any healing?” Jester made no move to get up from where she was but the offer was clear. “I still have spells or Caduceus?”

Fjord shook his head.

“Yasha fixed me up, she’s sitting with Beau now. I just wanted to check on how you all were holding up.” He looked calmer than he had earlier when Nott had checked on him. Which wasn’t right because he just got punched in the face and Caleb was obviously covered in his own blood. Which meant he was faking it. 

“Oh you know.” Jester tried for a smile. “We’re doing better than we were a few minutes ago.” Which meant they weren’t doing very good at all. 

“Oh” Fjord saw that. Saw the tears not long gone. “Is there anything I can get?”

Nott closed her eyes, considering. What did they need? What could possibly help. She took a breath. Fuck it. 

“Yeah,” she spoke up. Her voice felt rough. She wanted a drink. She wanted everything to be okay. Or as okay as it ever got in this group. Which wasn’t always much but it was better than this. “A mattress. Maybe two if we can get them to fit.”

“What?” 

“We’re having a sleepover. Everyone can bunk in here and keep an eye on everyone else.”

Jester shifted her grip. Fjord looked confused. Caduceus raised an eyebrow.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea. I’m not sure how restful it will be.”

It was going to be crowded. And probably noisy. And definitely not as calm. But it would be them. Nott squeezed Caleb’s hand, he didn’t squeeze back. There was blood on his clothes. There was blood on the sheets. Nott took another deep breath through her nose.

“This isn’t working. I thought it was but it isn’t. We can’t do this like we’re taking care of any old patient. This is Beau and Caleb. I’m not sure either of them have many good memories of being sick.” Of being cared for. Of having comfort. “At least I’m not sure how well they remember something like that.”

She looked from Caleb, to Jester to Caduceus to Fjord by the doorway.

“So we’re having a sleepover. We’re keeping everyone close. And we’re letting them know everything is safe.”


	5. Rain in the clouds above

Nott didn’t let go of Caleb’s hand but she took stock of the bed. Both top and bottom sheets were a lost cause and the smalls Caleb was wearing. All of them covered with splotches of red turning to rust. The blanket was fine and the pillow had survived but looked rather sweat damp and could probably stand to be replaced too. How were they going to do this?

She told Fjord to wait around 10 minutes. If Beau had punched Fjord at the sound of a shout the probability of her doing something more drastic at the sign of her friend covered in blood was high. Stupidly high. Why couldn’t they have a nice and normal time being sick. Lay in bed, eat soup, complain. That’s what people did when they were under the weather. But not Beau. No she was a monk of the Cobalt Soul and what they did when they got sick was not tell anybody about it and then be incredibly combative. 

Maybe that was just Beau. 

First things first, solve the easiest problem you can see. Jester seemed to have the same idea.

“Duceus, can you go grab another set of smalls and some new sheets?” She shifted a little, settling in rather than upsetting anything. Looking up at the other cleric. She seemed a little calmer but like all the emotions that had welled up were shifted aside rather than dealt with. Her eyes were puffy and her nose was still running. She had held it together through necessity and force of will. But now that she wasn’t the only one in the room and the choking panic of a feeling of the past few minutes had trickled away keeping it together was a little easier.“Actually, maybe just the bottoms and some extra blankets. Fjord’s shirt didn’t really fit anyway.”

“Sure, I’ll just grab any bedding I can find. Anything else?”

They both shook their heads from the bed. Caduceus disappeared from the doorway, his mask of calm still very much full of cracks. Frumpkin had properly nestled himself on Caleb’s lap and was busy purring as hard as it was possible for a cat, magic or otherwise, to purr. Filling the room with the little rumbling. Caleb was shaking. Nott bent down to look at his face.

His eyes were scrunched closed. Unease painted on his face, wrinkling his brow. 

“You know Caleb, I’m not sure the last time I had a proper sleep over.” She had no idea how that worry could be smoothed out. Without magic that is. So she talked. She lied. To keep it light. She had never had friends before the Nien. “I mean camping out and cramming into tiny inn rooms doesn’t count. That’s just going to bed.”

Jester reached behind their little cluster and pulled a blanket up around three pairs of shoulders. 

“This is going to be a real sleepover.” It wouldn’t be, not really. But everyone would be here together. Ignoring all other empty rooms in this big house to be close. “I mean it’s like three in the afternoon I think, but it’s always dark here so we just pretend we’re staying up super late.”

“We can tell each other about all our secrets crushed and gossip a whole bunch and I can start my book over so everyone can listen.” Jester was leaning in close. Nott looked to the floor where pencils and sketchbook still lay scattered. They could pick them up in a bit.

Caduceus reappeared a few minutes later. He had a bundle of bedding and cloth under one arm and a basin of water in his hands. Yeza stopped again at the door way. 

“I’m going to get some more poultices going. I could grab something to wrap his arms in. I know he’s healed but a layer of protection there might be good.”

Nott thought on Yeza’s words. She looked to Jester.

“What do you think? Think it would be too uncomfortable for him?”

Jester shook her head slowly thinking it though.

“I think it might be okay. But we can take them off again if it doesn’t work and he doesn’t like them.” Her voice got a little rougher and less steady but she kept going. “I mean I was sitting right next to him and I wasn’t fast enough.”

There was blood on her dress too.

“Alright, is that alright with you Caleb?” No response, solve the problem you can see and pick up the rest of the pieces later. 

First they had to clean up. Then get everyone settled.

Nott was loath to move, herself, Jester, or Caleb, from the steady rhythm of breath and eyes that weren’t scrunched painfully shut that they had achieved. But they couldn’t stay here all day. The blood on the three of them was probably not improving Caleb’s mindset. It sure as hell wasn’t improving her’s. And Jester. Jester was holding it together in a way Nott wished very much she didn’t have too. Jester gave Caduceus a smile that was watery but at least not all the way forced, she shifted a little bit so she could lean down and look into Caleb’s face. He still hadn’t opened his eyes but maybe he could feel her gaze.

“Okay Caleb.” She sounded bright even as she kept her voice low. There was a pause as she tried to find words. “You kind of look like shit right now but if it’s all right me and Nott are going to help you clean up some of this blood. Because it’s not really like good sleepover vibes.”

She took one of Caleb’s arms and a wet cloth from Caduceus. She began wiping away the drying blood as she kept talking. 

“I mean we could do like a horror themed sleepover if we wanted but if we did that we’d have to eat like so much candy and that wouldn’t be a very good time if you and Beau keep barfing.”

She rung out the cloth into pink stained water and repeated the process. For a moment it looked like Jesters emotions might spill into words regardless of how much the tiefling didn’t want them too. Nott took over the talking.

“I mean if we’re doing more of a romance sort of sleep over.” That at least got an eyebrow wiggle. “Not an orgy. Again the barfing.”

“It wouldn’t exactly call that restful. And Caleb is already dehydrated.” Caduceus offered. 

“Exactly, no boning this afternoon. People need to sleep. No, I’m talking romance romance.” Jester rung the cloth out again and passed it over to Nott so she could get the other arm. “Well not like wandering around on a rainy moore and being miserable. But like you know, reading Tusk Love, and talking about first kisses, and braiding each other’s hair and stuff.”

Nott rung out the cloth and ignored how it dripped down her arm. They would worry about the blood under Caleb’s nail later. They just had to get most of it for now. His arms were still pinkish and the room smelled like illness and iron but it was better than before. 

“Alright, shirt off next and then pants swap. Is that alright?” There might have been the smallest of nods but it was hard to tell. They had to shrug off the blanket momentarily as her and Jester each grabbed Caleb’s shirt from the bottom and lifted it up over his head. He helped, intentionally or not at the end by pulling his hands back out of the sleeves so he could hug himself.

Jester half lifted Caleb so they could slip the blood crusted smalls down and off and then lifted again as they slipped the new pair on. There was dried blood on pale skinny legs but they’d deal with that later. Hopefully Caleb could deal with that later by himself. There weren’t any dick jokes but it was awkward enough as it was. Jester was very patiently and pointedly looking over Caleb’s shoulder at the wall leaving Nott to do the maneuvering. Which was fine but maybe dick jokes would have made it a little easier. 

Next they had to contend with the bedding. Letting Jester support Caleb for a minute Nott dragged the blanket down and threw it over the edge of the bed with the pillows. She beckoned Caduceus over.

“Okay Caleb, we’re going to have you stand up for a minute and give Caduceus a hug while me and Jester make the bed super fast alright.” Caduceus set aside the bowl of stained water and cloth and came forward with Nott’s prompting. He set the clean bedding down within reach of Jester and stood with his leg’s either side of Caleb’s. Shins pressed all the way up to the bed frame. He looked for any sign of resistance from the human but he hadn’t reacted to Caduceus' shadow. Caduceus frowned but didn’t stop what he was doing. He patted Caleb gently on one knee. 

Ready Caleb?” Nothing. It looked as if Caduceus was holding back a sigh. The firbolg reached, crouching, to work his arms under Caleb’s and around the man’s back.

“On three, one, two, and three!” The firbolg counted gently and heaved as smooth as he could manage, pulling Caleb up from under the armpits. 

They stood as one awkward mass. Caduceus had to keep bent over to keep Caleb’s feet on the ground and Caleb had to bring his arms up and around Caduceus as the firbolg held him up. Nott could see Caleb’s eyes were still scrunched shut but his fists were balled up in the fabric of Caduceus’ shirt.

Caduceus’ expression shifted into a small but definite smile. Nott raised a questioning eyebrow at him. He gave a small shrug as not to displace Caleb too much. 

“This is a very nice hug.” He explained quietly. Caleb shifted slightly and buried his face into the fabric of Caduceus’ shirt and away from the room at large. Nott hoped it was because the smell of moss and dirt and tea were pulling him from whatever memories that his fever had dragged up into his dreams and into the present of the Nein. It was also possible that the quick change in position was giving him vertigo and he was about to barf.

But she would think about that later. The memories, not the barfing, that would have been an immediate problem. She and Jester stripped the bed and made it back up in record time. It maybe wasn’t the neatest but nobody was keeping score so it didn’t really matter that much. By the time they had finished up Yeza was back with a bowl and bandages. 

“Perfect timing hun. Jessie hold off on that blanket for a second,” Caleb would probably do better sitting up. She took the bowl of green mash and bandages from her husband and resisted the urge to ask for a hug. He looked thin and tired and the circles under his eyes that had grown deep in that goblin cave had been just as present when they pulled him out of the cell. They were still on his face now. Nott wondered if they had ever disappeared in the two years she had been gone. He smiled at her.

“Holding up?” He didn’t ask her if she was okay because he knew the answer to that. He could probably see it in her efficiency. The way she was setting absolutely everything except the task in front of her to the side for now. The things she would think about later were piling up but she found later could be pushed further away through sheer force of will ad infinitum. Even further if she could get her claws on a drink. She didn’t wonder what Yeza would think of her flask. There wasn’t time for that right now. She gave him a little smile back. 

“Holding up.” That was their thing. In their tiny shop when things were too busy or hectic to get a proper breath in and all they had to do was hold on for a bit. Back then later had meant after the shop had been closed and dinner dishes had either been done or decidedly ignored. She could almost be back at their wobbly little table, Luc asleep in his basket, some bad wine left in a better bottle. Yeza helping her unravel whatever idea she had tangled up throughout the day. And her, helping him scale down whatever mountain of worry he had built in his lab or behind the shop counter.

“We’re just going get Caleb settled and then start moving some more mattresses in. How many do you think we can get in here? Two? And then we can get out some bed rolls.”

Yeza smiled at her.

“I’ll let Mr.Fjord know it’ll be a few minutes.”

Nott nodded.

“I’ll give a shout when we’re good to go.” Yeza looked like he was going to hug her but held back when she scrunched up her eyebrows at him. “Go wash your hands. Don’t want you catching the plague or whatever these two came down with.”

“I don’t think they have the plague dear.” He was using his entirely too reasonable voice which didn’t quite match the little smile on his face.

“And I don’t think I married a plague expert.”

His response to that was to dart in and kiss her on the cheek before rushing down the hall towards Beau’s room. 

“Hey! Seriously! Go wash your hands!” She yelled after him. He would. He always did. She turned around to see matching smiles on Jester and Caduceus. Caduceus had Caleb back on the edge of the bed. Supporting him by one shoulder.

“Oh shut up.” She could feel her cheeks burning green. “Caduceus, why don’t you sit for him for a little bit and work on the poultices.”

“Of course.” The smile didn’t go away. “Jester can you give me a hand? On three.”

In quick succession the blanket was tucked around Caleb’s shoulders, the man was shifted back against the wall, Caduceus had settled next to him and was keeping him upright with a arm around his shoulders, and Frumpkin was back up on the bed and in Caleb’s lap. Cozy. And no longer covered in blood. 

Nott passed over the mashed herb and strips of cloth to the firbolg and then bent to pick up the bowl of bloody water. 

“All set? Do you think you can manage for a few minutes while we get everything else set up?”

Caduceus gave her the affirmative so she turned to Jester. The blue girl was half kneeling on the bed still after helping position Caleb. She looked over at Nott as Nott gave her dress a tug. 

“Come on, grab those sheets and lets go get cleaned up a bit. We look like we just murdered someone.” Maybe she shouldn’t have drawn attention to all of the blood. Jester hesitated. Nott took her hand and tried to be a little more gentle. “Come on, lets go wash this off. Caduceus will call if he needs anything.”

Jester nodded, smile long gone, and followed Nott out into the hall. Maybe they would deal with a little bit of later right now. Starting with a hug.

**Author's Note:**

> I had a bad week and wanted to write something for fun so here we are.
> 
> Title is from [Here With Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0Pu9FqXV1Q) by the Killers
> 
> Chapter titles are from [Love Love Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qv3-vANWwcU) by the Mountain Goats


End file.
